In my previous post I mentioned I had a dream that I wanted to share with you. Thankfully I wrote it down the instant I woke up that morning, so it is easier for me to recollect it now. I actually had two dreams that night:
In the first one I was crossing a large surface of water (perhaps an ocean or large sea) on board of a boat or large ship. It may have been a cruise ship perhaps. I had brought or perhaps bought stuff from my home country which I was transporting on this cruise liner/ship, and these things were in a large box on the same level I was standing on. Some sudden move of the ship caused the freight to go overboard into the water, and I saw all the things that I had intended to bring back sink into the depths of the water. Some of the stuff I had intended to bring to the final destination with me were memorabilia items: stuff that reminded me where I came from, my heritage, the people that gave them to me and to which I therefore felt an emotional attachment to. They were items that provided some form of comfort, and since they tied me to certain memories in the past, were also irreplaceable. Other items that I had bought were things which weren't available in the new country I was going to.
When that box of my possessions fell into the water, I was just in the middle of telling someone how important I thought those things were and that I didn't desire much else, because of the reasons I mentioned above.
What a shock to then see those things I thought were important fall overboard and sink into the deep ocean! Fully clothed and without thinking, pretty much out of reflex, I then jumped into the frigid, ice-cold water, thinking there may be a way to perhaps not end up with a complete loss.
I went under. I was drowning. The water covered me, and then I realized how foolish I was to think that I could do anything. How foolish to think I'd have a chance of survival. How foolish to risk my life for ...things.
I clearly saw how my life was not equal in worth to the things I was trying to save, and that nobody else was going to be as stupid as I was, and that nobody was going to jump in to save me, and also expect to be able to survive that.
Now to second dream: I was inquiring to receive help from someone who I considered trust-worthy and a person according to God's mind, and who I thought would be able to help me with a problem, just to find out that the person was not trust-worthy.
This person requested that I worship and honor God in a certain manner and in a certain role. The trouble with this was that this "God" which I was meant to worship & honor, was reduced to a certain level and to a certain capacity. I realize God may have many different names, but it was kind of like telling me: "worship Tor, the God of Thunder". In my dream it wasn't Tor (I just mentioned this to try to explain what I mean), but the name "God", and then a descriptive after that which didn't seem to present the real true God in His full Glory, Power and Might.
Long story short, the way this "God" was described and the manner in which I was to honor Him seemed suspicious to me. It was like evil trying to portray itself as light. I really got suspicious when I was then told that if I didn't do as I was told, that I'd be condemning myself and my loved ones.
I know the God of the old Testament would sometimes be an angry God, and even seemingly revengeful, but the God of the New Testament is one proclaiming mercy and Love, and only when absolutely necessary does He then bring down condemnation. Usually only for those who in the end condemn themselves by turning away from Him. Jesus said He did not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill and transform it.
So what do these dreams mean? The way I've interpreted these dreams so far is that 1) I shouldn't be so attached to what I perceive as important things or memories from the past. They may end up spiritually and physically killing me. And 2) I shouldn't pay much attention to people in general. Whether it's the person I was talking to on the ship (that person didn't jump in to save me, after all), or the person who I thought was God-fearing and trust-worthy in the second dream.
Evil can disguise itself as an angel of light, and people who seem to be on God's side may actually not be. They may not even be aware or conscious of their own self-deceit. You shall know them by their fruits.
Result: detach from people and things, memories and belongings, and when trouble arises turn to God only.
So apart from crashing into freezing water which has the ability to drown me, I feel like I may be walking in a dry desert waste-land with nobody except God alone to help me on my way. This is a walk based purely on Faith alone, because although the sun may be shining very bright, it seems very dark, and not even God seems to present for most of the time. If a person may seem to be of the light, but in reality it is dark, who then may know whether they are seeing dark or light, or vice versa? Who can trust that what they appear to see is really there?
Very exhausting.
Any thoughts to this topic are appreciated.
Now....back to my studies.
